I'm a terrible "blogger"...

It's official.  I stink at blogging.

...but I enjoy it as a medium to express my emotions (excitement over an idea, stress over a toddler, etc) and get things off my chest, so I'm still going to do it!  One of these days, life will have a routine and I'll have time to do this, right?!  I'm not giving up!  Once a month or every few weeks is better than never at all, and I enjoy so really that's all that matters.  Not like anybody reads it anyway!!!  Maybe my sister?  :)  Hey, Molli!

My sister.  *le sigh*  I miss her greatly.  I talked to her on the phone this morning for what felt like the first time in ages, and truthfully, it probably was.  I remember when life was easy and we talked constantly.  Life isn't horrible now, don't get me wrong, but we both have so many responsibilities and the 536 miles between us makes things difficult for sure!  She has three kids that range in age from <almost> 11 to three!  I miss the days when I was still in Tennessee and we were so close and I miss those kids!  Her oldest was 7 when I moved and the baby wasn't even born yet.  Moving to Missouri was an extremely emotional and taxing decision, but it's one that did go right (one in the so very many that didn't...)!  I love it here, and I love my beautiful little family and our farm and all the friends I've made along the way, but leaving East TN left a hole in my heart that can never ever be filled!  

I don't get to go home near as much as I would like.  Life, amirite?  Between our jobs, the farm, and the terrible 2's, we don't get to do much at all that we want to.  It's not that I'm making excuses, these are legitimate reasons.  We're not carefree and can't just pull a 9 hour drive and a long weekend like I wish we could.  The farm is the biggest reason; 30+ miles of fence and 126 momma cows that depend on us for everything (as much as we depend on them, really) can't just be left without even minor supervision for a weekend.  Then there's Ikey.  He's in the "OUT!" phase and strapping him into a carseat is the equivalent of having sand thrown in your eyes!  Basically, he's not a fan, and for 9 hours?  Shoot me.  Driving at night is out of the question, too.  We used to do it when it was just John and me, but I-40 is a scary drive with all semis on the road at night, and we're not going to risk it with the baby.  Sorry, not sorry.  NOPE.  I don't expect anybody else to do it, either.  They're nuts!  Last time we did that it rained and there were semis weaving everywhere, passing like crazy, and one didn't even have headlights!  Talk about terrifying!  Then there are our jobs.  We both work full-time in sales.  So yes, it's definitely easier to get away from our jobs than say an 8-5, but it also means while we can "get away", we are never ever really truly "away", but we're definitely not getting paid!  So these are all my legit reasons that I don't go to TN as much as I'd like, but hopefully when Ike is a few years older, some of this at least. will get easier!  ...not that anybody really cares about our reasons.  It seems everybody just wants us to come home.  I understand that, for sure, and I wish it was as easy as just packing up and going!  I really do!  Someday...  Right?  Yeah.  I guess this has just been stressing me out lately.  It seems it's all I hear from *most people and it has me dreading the conversation, which I hate.  
*side note: My sister did NOT mention this during our talk this morning.  As usual, she does not fall into this category!  :D

So anyway, I've been working on some amazing (and crocheted, obviously) Christmas presents and I could not be more excited!  I am currently OBSESSED with Caron Cakes yarn and have gone to great lengths to get my hands on more since most stores seem to be completely out!  (If you happen find it by calling random stores, they can ship it to your local store for you!  ...and if your local store is 2 hours away, your neighbor's son can pick it up for you since he lives there, and then she'll just get it when she sees him over the weekend!  PHEW!)  I made a granny shawl using the Jelly Roll colorway and I absolutely loved it so much that I started one for my mom in the Buttercream colorway!  The pattern I used for the first one called for clusters for 3 dc's, but on this one I altered it a bit to clusters of 2.  It's a lot puffier and is going to be quite a bit bigger!  I only used one ball on the first one, but I plan on using at least another half on this one, so it should be pretty good sized!  The first is more like a shawlette, really, but it's very lovely!!!  I haven't' been able to crochet at all in the last two days and I feel like I'm going through withdrawals!  Tonight I'm going to get some hook time in if I have to stay up until 11 to do it!!!  *gasp!*

Okay, well, back to work for me!  Have a good day, y'all!

You are enough. As I am enough, and they are enough.

I'm standing here telling you, screaming it from the highest mountain, that you are enough!!!  

I think, no matter how amazing our lives may look from the outside, that we all struggle from time-to-time with feeling like we're enough.  

You can have the world's cleanest  4'x4' area for your Instagram pictures (I'm talking surgery suite clean and stark white!) and still have a toddler clearing your coffee table, emptying the entertainment center, and slinging his spaghetti across the kitchen by the forkful!  You can put on a big smile and crisp new capris and run your errands in full makeup with your hair just perfect, and still spend 95% of your time in last week's yoga pants, no bra, and a messy bun (and not a cute one).  We're always trying to make sure we LOOK like we have it all together for other people, but really, we're struggling to keep our heads above water.  Guess what?  You are enough.  Bird's nest bun, sagging boobs, and chugging twice reheated coffee... You. Are. Enough.  

"It is what it is, but it will be what you make it."  This is my favorite quote by one of my favorite women, Pat Head Summitt.  She didn't care what anybody thought about her.  She just wanted to play a great game, because that was her job.  Winning was not her job.  Winning was a perk.  Her job was to make sure her team was there, ready, and willing to lay it all on the line.  And her team did that more than any other team in the history of sports.  Coach Summitt knew she was enough.

Do you give your all?  Do you try your best?  Do you do everything you can, everyday?  You won't win them all, sure, but if you can be happy with your efforts then you're doing it right!  You are enough!  

There will always be someone who doesn't see what you do.  Doesn't appreciate that 4'x4' space in the midst of the chaos.  Doesn't see that you're spending your time doing for others and that's why your hair is in a knot.  Doesn't care that there is a hot meal every night, only that it's been smeared on every surface in the kitchen by the toddler.  All too often, this person will be one of the closest to you.  The one who should be on your side and supportive is the one who sees every flaw, but don't you ever forget that you are enough.  

Chances are high that this one person doesn't feel like they're enough, either.  Which brings me to my main point... not only are YOU enough, but I am enough, they are enough.  Take it upon yourself to uplift others.  One of the best ways to feel better is to make someone else feel better.  Smile.  Laugh.  Encourage.  We're all ENOUGH!